The vending machine has Players!
Maple Leaf Fans Read This
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NLHockeyTalk.ca
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What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
The vending machine has Players!
The vending machine has Players!
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NLHockeyTalk.ca
- Posts: 1770
- Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:16 am
Luke Schenn showed up at his parent's house, and swung the door open. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked. "You'll never believe it!" Luke said. "I was responsible for the winning goal!" "Really? How'd you do that?" "I stood their while their player went around me."
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A Canadian peacekeeper is walking in a desert when he comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie promises to give him 1 wish. The peacekeeper thinks hard and finally takes out a map. He points at the region where he's from and says all he wants is to have peace in that region. "Wow," the genie says, "that's a tough one. Do you have anything else?" The peacekeeper thinks a moment and says: "How about the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup?" to which the genie replies: "Let me see that map again."
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The man said, "My dog watches all the Maple Leafs games on TV. Everytime they lose, he lies down and cried his eyes out." His friend says, "That's incredible. What does he do when they win?" The man replied, "I don't know, I'll let you know when it actually happens."
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What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
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the judge holds a private meeting with a young child whose parents are getting a divorce. "So, Jimmy, do you want to live with your dad?" the judge asks. "No way," says Jimmy. "He beats me." "Ok, the judge replies. "What about your mom?" "No, she beats me too,' Jimmy says. "Well, then, who do you want live with, Jimmy," the judge asks. "The Toronto Maple Leafs, they don't beat anyone."
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How are the Leafs like an opossum?
They play dead at home, and get killed on the road...
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On "What does your Dad do for Work Day" in Billy's grade 5 class, it's now Billy's turn to go to front and tell his peers what his father does for work. Billy says "...um my father is a drug dealer and is a male prostitute on the side for some extra cash...". Billy's teacher, in total shock, jumps from here chair and takes Billy outside. "My goodness" she says "I had no idea!". Billy says "well actually Mrs., my dad plays for the Maple Leafs but I was just too embarassed to say that in front of everyone"
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Hamilton may not have a team yet, but they're only one point behind the Leafs!
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What did the leaf fan do after the leafs won the stanley cup?
He turned off the Playstation
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A Canadian peacekeeper is walking in a desert when he comes across a magic lamp. He rubs it and out comes a genie. The genie promises to give him 1 wish. The peacekeeper thinks hard and finally takes out a map. He points at the region where he's from and says all he wants is to have peace in that region. "Wow," the genie says, "that's a tough one. Do you have anything else?" The peacekeeper thinks a moment and says: "How about the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup?" to which the genie replies: "Let me see that map again."
=============
The man said, "My dog watches all the Maple Leafs games on TV. Everytime they lose, he lies down and cried his eyes out." His friend says, "That's incredible. What does he do when they win?" The man replied, "I don't know, I'll let you know when it actually happens."
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What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice.
=============
the judge holds a private meeting with a young child whose parents are getting a divorce. "So, Jimmy, do you want to live with your dad?" the judge asks. "No way," says Jimmy. "He beats me." "Ok, the judge replies. "What about your mom?" "No, she beats me too,' Jimmy says. "Well, then, who do you want live with, Jimmy," the judge asks. "The Toronto Maple Leafs, they don't beat anyone."
=============
How are the Leafs like an opossum?
They play dead at home, and get killed on the road...
=============
On "What does your Dad do for Work Day" in Billy's grade 5 class, it's now Billy's turn to go to front and tell his peers what his father does for work. Billy says "...um my father is a drug dealer and is a male prostitute on the side for some extra cash...". Billy's teacher, in total shock, jumps from here chair and takes Billy outside. "My goodness" she says "I had no idea!". Billy says "well actually Mrs., my dad plays for the Maple Leafs but I was just too embarassed to say that in front of everyone"
=============
Hamilton may not have a team yet, but they're only one point behind the Leafs!
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What did the leaf fan do after the leafs won the stanley cup?
He turned off the Playstation
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in the park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either a Leafs or Jays fan. "What team, do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Boston Bruins fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little ****** from Boston Kills Beloved Family Pet."
GO BOUS GO
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not sick i knows
- Posts: 83
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- What is the shape of a hockey puck?: triangle
What do micheal jackson and toronto maple leaf goalies have in common?
They both wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason!
They both wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason!
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TheMob
- Posts: 340
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- What is the shape of a hockey puck?: triangle
- Location: Grand Falls-Windsor
Hahahah!!not sick i knows wrote:What do micheal jackson and toronto maple leaf goalies have in common?
They both wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason!
A teacher asked the kids in the class what were their favorite teams
One kid said Boston, The other kid said he liked calgary, The last kid said he liked montreal. The teacher said Why do you like montreal? He said Well you see my mother is a canadians fan, and my dad is too!
The teacher responded so if your mother was an idiot and your father was an idiot what you that make you? He said a toronto fan!
GO CATS GO
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CaribousFan
- Posts: 8050
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- Location: The CEC
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Go Leafs Go
Caribous Record- 17-5-2= 36 Points= 1st Place- Regular Season Champs
Clarenville Caribous- 2011 Allan Cup Champions
Clarenville Caribous- 2009-2010 Herder Champions
Clarenville Caribous- 2008-2009 Herder Champions
CEC Siren Guy
Clarenville Caribous- 2011 Allan Cup Champions
Clarenville Caribous- 2009-2010 Herder Champions
Clarenville Caribous- 2008-2009 Herder Champions
CEC Siren Guy
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Carbonear Canadiens
- Posts: 1764
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- What is the shape of a hockey puck?: triangle
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto ?
None of them can play hockey.
None of them can play hockey.
Follow me on Twitter: @CCanadiens
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Carbonear Canadiens
- Posts: 1764
- Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:44 pm
- What is the shape of a hockey puck?: triangle
How are the Maple Leafs like artificial Christmas trees?
They both go straight to the basement around the beginning of January.
They both go straight to the basement around the beginning of January.
Follow me on Twitter: @CCanadiens
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